Routines vs. schedules

Sean has taught me a lot about schedules and had tag-teamed with Koby to remind us what routine really means....

As a first-time mom, I poured over the books and settled on the thought that raising a child from day one on a "schedule" sounded great. What new parent wouldn't want a list by hour of what to do with a newborn? I didn't have that feeling coming home from the hospital of "what do we do now?" I knew: it was 1pm and he should be sleeping until 2:30pm at which point I must wake him up to eat, etc... So the schedule continued for a couple of weeks. I can't express just how thankful I am to my mama who didn't sneer at me upon arrival when I presented my scheduled plan. She simply supported it and I believe opted to let me learn the lesson on my own. After all, who responds well to being told they don't know what they are doing? :)

Along the way, Sean proved to have not read the book, or the follow-on memo, or for that matter attending the scheduled meetings. He generally ate, slept, ate, and slept some more, but as for minding a clock, he reminded me that he could barely recognize my face, much less read time. His tummy and brain had a clock all their own and since this was HIS body, he was going on HIS clock. So on we went...I scrapped the schedule and started listening to my son. So what if he got 6 hours of day sleep instead of 5. It didn't seem to effect our night sleep (of which he is wonderful and has been since we brought him home). We have a routine, not a schedule. We wake up, cuddle and eat. He gets some blessed play time, then naps, eats, plays, naps, eats, etc. He generally goes down at night about the same time, but sometimes we work at it. By and large, I now know what to expect, and I don't need a clock to tell me.

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Koby has his own way of reminding us what a routine is. For 18 months, I'd get up, feed him, getting ready for work, we'd walk around the block, I'd come home about the same time each afternoon, we'd play a little, he'd get dinner, and then maybe a second walk weather permitting. He could count on being home alone for about the same number of hours. If I drove past the house anytime after 2pm, he'd be in the window watching people and waiting. I knew before that time he was asleep on the couch. Then came maternity leave and me home everyday. Oh, and the new addition with his own routines that definitely encroached on Koby's routine....most days went well because I was home all day. Now both Kris and I are back at work and Koby's first day "back on the routine" proved a mess. Kris came home to things pulled off the counter, a spastic dog, and a half-chewed tube of eye medicine for him. Needless to say, Koby was not used to being alone and had something to say about it. I suspect it will take a few more days of silliness before he returns to his routine, and we remember to give him some attention of his own now that the kid brother has arrived...